“So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you”—
The wedding singer
I am not the type of person who thinks that my wedding day will be the only highlight of my love life. I look past that and I see the career that we are going to have and the success that we can inspire each other to aim for, I see the house that we are going to move into and going to start a family in, I see the beautiful babies that I can pop out (and it really doesn’t matter if he/she learns the violin or dancing), I see us taking them to their first day of Kindergarten, I see you cleaning up their mess while I do the cooking, I see a family vacation to disneyland, I see us grounding our kids for breaking the neighbor’s window from playing (and i see you taking out cash to pay for it), I see the first game or recital that we go to and it doesn’t matter what sports or what kind of artistic thing they are doing, we will be one of those who will support them no matter how useless their hobby is. I see the first hit of puberty, prom, graduation, your belly getting bigger and my wrinkles multiplying. I see the applications to different colleges and us sending them off. I see them graduating and living on their own while visiting us, I see their wedding and me escorting my son or you escorting our daughter to the altar. I see them having their own kids. I see us growing old together. I see us having wrinkles and gray hair, I can see that your head won’t bald, it’s just going to have a LOT of gray hair, mine on the other hand might recede further than yours will ever do, I will surely have more teeth than you in the end, that’s for sure. I see us on our canes while our grand children call us “old fogies” (and they will) but we’ll still love them even the brattiest grandchild. I guess all i’m trying to say is that I want to grow old with YOU and no body else. ;-)
“Everywhere in the World, Hearts are breaking”—I am writing today because I noticed that it hasn’t even been a month in the year 2010 and I’m seeing broken hearts and a lot of confused minds everywhere. My advice for the broken hearts: get a big bucket of rocky road ice cream, a large pizza, and rent tons of sad movies, be there for yourself and comfort yourself in the best way you know how, by feeding your soul, trust me it’s worked in the past, take it day by day and you’ll find that the hole gets smaller. For those who are confused, consider whether or not it really is worth it, if you decide it is, then fix things up and give it another chance, and for those who are starting to think that it is NOT worth it, then it probably isn’t, let it go.
It is bad enough when a stranger or foe betrays you, but when it is someone you believed to be a close and trusted friend, partner, or spouse, it is especially hurtful. It might feel like you were taken advantage of, deceived, humiliated, despised, cheated, or stabbed in the back. Oftentimes it comes as a surprise. That is why it is so painful. You would not expect to be hurt so badly from someone you thought you could trust. So you are left in disbelief and unbelievable pain.
Anyone who has experienced betrayal in a relationship knows how difficult it is to recover from such an experience. The person you thought you could trust and count on is no longer the person you believed them to be. So you wonder what happened. Were you just wrong about them all along or did something change? Maybe your relationship changed and so did their loyalty to you. Maybe something in either or both of your lives has changed and they became insensitive to you. Or, maybe you both grew apart and in different directions.
There are many reasons that cause people to betray one another. Sometimes they are very deliberate and intended to hurt the other person. And sometimes they are consequences of choices that are made with no intention of doing any harm to anyone. Looking out for one’s own best interests can cause some people to disregard relationships they once valued. They may feel the relationship is in the way or not as important anymore. Feelings change. And as feelings change so do one’s actions and choices. An individual that feels their needs are not being met in a relationship might feel that the relationship is no longer important or worth investing in. Therefore, they might seek to get their needs met elsewhere. This changes the relationship. Eventually, it grows apart and opportunities for betrayal emerge.
Betrayal is a destructive force that leaves many ruins in its path. Betrayal changes everything. Relationships and all those affected will never be the same again. The damage done can be irreparable. Trust is lost. Wounds run deep. Anger persists. Hearts are broken. Self-protective walls are erected. Pain is long and lasting. And we wonder…. Can trust ever be restored? Do wounds ever heal? Will anger cease to exist? Can hearts be repaired? Will the self-protective walls ever come down? Does the pain ever go away?
Not only does betrayal change relationships, it changes individuals. Something happens inside of them. They might find it difficult to ever trust again. They might be more guarded and protective of themselves for fear of being vulnerable again. They might learn to be more discerning and less naïve. Their expectations of others may change. They may reflect on their own role and responsibility in the relationship and what went wrong. They might try to understand, empathize, and forgive. They may be motivated to grow from the experience and learn more about themselves and others.
The pain of betrayal is very real and has a significant impact on the lives of all those who have experienced it. It is one of those painful life experiences that have the power to change people’s hearts and lives forever. If you have ever been betrayed, you cannot change what has happened to you or make the pain go away. You need time to grieve and feel angry. You need time to be comforted and encouraged. You also need time to restore your faith in yourself and others. Betrayal hurts and there is no fast and easy way to heal from its affects. It takes more than time. It takes a heart that will not harden. It takes a commitment to believe in others again. Relationships do change as a result of betrayal; but ultimately, how it changes you is what matters most.
“I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.”—
Our new year conversation via text since we weren't together
Me:Look at the moon outside, there's a ring around it. Tonight we have a blue moon, it only comes once every several years, when u look at it just know that I'm looking at it too n it seems like we're just next too each other, happy new year love!
Him:U only come once in a life time so im keeping u 4ever
Me:Sure na? Coz I'm like a sale item, no return no exchange!